"15 Pieces of Flair"

I love this, it's everything I wish I could say, only said with more flair.

"It was inevitable that the Left will start demanding the heads of anyone who has ever made an ‘offensive’ statement on the air. You do not have the right to ‘not be offended’ in the US. What you do have is the right to offend, and to be debated with on the issues and views you espouse. We don’t need thought police, we don’t need the Cult of the Perpetually Outraged dictating to anyone, and we don’t need to turn talk radio into endless episodes of Barney (I love you, you love me…)."

"Until Rev Sharpton and Jackson attack the black rap artists that degrade women with the type of language that Imus used that I will see this as what it is, hypocritical.
Sharpton and Jackson have made these young women victims. By making them victims they have taught these young women that if someone calls you bad names then it victimizes you.
In my youth I was taught, “stick and stones can break my bones, name will never hurt me”.




In other news, I think Anti-Domestic Goddess has found a (maybe) home! www.antidomesticgoddess.wordpress.com! Keep me in your bookmarks or Google Reader just in case!

Alright, Blogger. You've irritated me for the LAST TIME. I'm searching for a new domain, and then you are out like last year's fabric purses, buddy.

I know, readers, I know. I switch blogsites every other day. But I keep getting stuck on lousy servers/domains, and I'm really wanting my own URL. Isn't there anywhere that will give me one for free? Heh, heh.

Alright, anyone who's got advice on a good blog provider, lemme know! I signed up for a wordpress.com account, maybe I'll end up using that one.


P.S. Funny story involving a bird. I'll blog about it later.

How to sculpt an elephant: 1. Obtain a very large block of marble. 2. Remove everything that does not look like an elephant.–Unknown

You steal my heart and curse under your breath..

There is a particular moment in time, when my breath can be taken away, my heart will race, my eyes will widen to take in everything I see before me, soaking it all up like a flower in the desert.

It's when I see something like this. Sparkling city lights, architectural genius, and the clear and brilliant black sky stretching out above it. It fills me with amazement and joy like a chemical high, and I can't get enough of it. I can see the same skyline again and again, like my home city of Indianapolis, and still be taken aback.

I truly am a "city girl". I really think that if I could do anything in the world at any given time, it would be to see something like Paris or Tokyo or New York City, lit up at night like a beacon. It amazes me to no end, and I will forever have this pulsing need to be near a large city; to soak up the beauty and activity in daily life. It gives a sense of community, a knowledge that not only am I not alone in the world, but that somewhere there are other people soaking up the same feeling. And when I can see Paris myself, my love by my side, I will throw my head back, square my shoulders, and breathe in the energy.

what a beautiful lie

"She was a gasoline rainbow; something beautiful and ironic. Innocence and experience warred over the faint smile lines around her eyes. She wasn't supposed to be alive, and somehow, this knowledge quickened her step, softened her words, and trained her eyes on the road ahead."

Opening line of something I think I need to start.

You have to hear this song.

I am completely addicted to this song. I've had it on repeat more times than you will care to know...trust me, it's beautiful.

we write a thousand pages

Talk about something to agree with. (there's a link there)

I had my own issues with weight and self-esteem in high school, and I was also a late bloomer, as she describes in that post. As I read her words, I could picture myself - walking down the halls, eyes downward, wearing my mother's sweatshirts two sizes too big for me, unfashionable jeans and shoes, and sloppy hairstyle - usually a flat ponytail.

I didn't feel like I had a womanly body at all until probably three or so years ago. Now, with a weight gain of about fifteen to twenty pounds, I feel I'm now heavier than I'd prefer, but I'm more comfortable with myself than certainly was back then. I have to be careful though - I can't wear the tops I used to be able to, now that I have some, uhm, curves!

Even in the last two years my style has changed. I've got pictures from the months after we moved here, taken by my MIL, of me in junky t-shirts, a bandanna, and baggy jeans. No more - I'm now usually found in nice sweaters, lace tanks, gauchos or dark jeans, and things with a little more flair. Long gone are the badly fitting blue jeans, baggy khakis, and ugly tennis shoes. I'm considering a bonfire. ;)

I think Chad and I will go through our closet and dresser this weekend, decide what can go, and make a donation to the Salvation Army. I don't want to be reminded anymore of a depressing time period, and those things can benefit others.

In other news, I'd like to talk to Chadwick about taking a real vacation for our five year anniversary, three years from this summer. I had some ideas pop into mind today...



In other, other news - and more important news, my uncle contacted me yesterday. My mother's brother. We spent two hours on the phone, and now we're instant messenging. We have lots to catch up on, and it's nice to talk to a blood relative again, as strange as it feels. I haven't seen him in five years.

I don't know what to think about the family situation right now.

There's no conversation, words without remorse.
And this television drowns the only source.
Wake from these dreams of you in my arms.
Go to the staircase where you hold my heart.
This place, these walls mean everything to me. - Emery

if love is a labour, i'll slave til the end

I miss my inlaws so much already, and they've only been gone just over a week.

Like I've said before, it's not that we are dependent on them, just that we're attached. It's hard going from the place I've lived my entire life, getting uprooted, making a home in a new state and bonding with my new family, then two years later getting that bond...stretched a bit.

I was writing an email to my MIL a few minutes ago, and it's just hard to think that the internet and the phone are our sources of communication now. It will be a while until we have the time to get back out there, with the hubby starting the Fire Academy this coming Monday. After he graduates in August, he'll have a month of Enhanced EMT, then I'm pretty sure his new permanent schedule will start and we can head out there for a few days. I'm so looking forward to it.

In other news, I'M GOING BACK TO WORK SOON! Remind me to tell about that tomorrow. I'm very happy about this, I don't like sitting around, or cleaning the same things over and over again. :)

I had something else, and now it's slipped my mind. Ah well, I'm exhausted anyway.

"Love is a dangerous pastime
Caught between madness and gladness of flight
Nothing is wrong, and nothing is right
Falling asleep in your arms every night" - Regina Spektor

Why must some memories be painful?

I remember when I was little, during heavy rain and thunderstorms, my mom and stepdad would open the doors in the back of the living room, and we'd lay on the carpet and watch the lightning as long as I could stay awake.

I remember the smell of the ground, the heavy humidity, the coolness of the breeze that blew in over my face, the earthworms on the driveway the next morning; ripe for squishing by the neighborhood kids.

It's a sweet memory, one I wish I could travel back to and re-live. After my stepdad's death, a lot of things changed; our routine changed, our entire lives changed. I know one thing - I never stretched out on the rug and watched the rain again.

Blogger, my darling Blogger...

Oh, Blogger. I'm sorry I've deserted you lately, but I've been terribly busy. I'm taking time off of work right now, and spending time with our family before they move to TN this weekend, and we're going along with them to help them get settled in. So between trips to their house, spending the night, getting caught up on housecleaning here, and getting packed up for the weekend, I haven't been around much. But darling Blogger, I will be back on Sunday night to spend some quality time with you. Just don't give up on me, alright? I'll never desert you. -crosses fingers-

I'll see you on Sunday!

AHA!

I GOT IT!

Yes, I know, I'm a genius. Enough of a genius that when I first typed "genius", I spelled it "genuis". A-mazing.

I'm pretty satisfied with this new layout and coloring. I might just hang onto it for a while.

Chad's been stuck at work almost all weekend. He came home yesterday morning long enough to sleep for a couple of hours (sleepless night, lots of 911 calls), take a quick cold shower, throw his MFD uniform on, and head to the last half of his class - why it was being held on Saturday morning, I have no idea. Then he came home while I was out with Ash at the mall, changed clothes back into his Sentara Medical uniform, and worked til 630 this morning. He came home again at 630 this morning, slept until 1030 (actually 1130, DANG DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME), awakened by a call from our friends Bill and Sue to come study with them at the station. Sue is quite the cook, let me tell you. She enticed us out of bed with promises of biscuits, gravy, and coffee. I don't pass up a meal by that amazing woman for anything.

So off we headed, bleary-eyed and yawning, to the station. I brought my new book that finally arrived in the mail yesterday, Wonder When You'll Miss Me, by Amanda Davis. I'm about 3/4 of the way through it. It's taken me so much longer than usual to read it, the print is so small. But I do highly recommend it, and a peek at this site.

We came home around 130 or so, and goofed around until he had to leave for work again at 4. He'll be gone again until 630 am. I'm so glad this is probably his last weekend at Sentara, although they don't know that yet. He's going to be busy enough with PFD's Fire Academy, plus his paramedic class and A&P class. Poor guy.

We realized today, that after Bobby moves out this week and Johnny moves in, that Chad will be the highest paid person in the house. =P Odd....we've gone from utter poverty and living on 400 bucks a month, to actually being able to pay bills and put money aside! Thanks to God, all thanks to Him. Blessings, indeed.

I'm thinking of applying for the open Team Leader position at work....I've only been in my Specialist/Supervisor position since mid-January, but everyone thinks I can do it, and the pay is SO much better. I'm still deciding.

-deep, annoyed sigh-

So I've been sitting here for an hour, fiddling with my layout. I want the daggone background to match the color of the picture. How difficult is that!? Apparently, earth-shatteringly difficult.

-shameless comment plug, I know, sorry- How does it look to you? Can you tell it's two different colors?

TIME TO BREAK OUT THE CHAMPAGNE!

I have fantastic, incredible, life-changing news:

Remember that job Chad has his chief's interview for, Portsmouth Fire Department? The dept he's been trying to get on to for the last twelve months?

He has the interview yesterday. He wasn't sure how it went, but he felt this way after the board interview last year, too.

The last step is the physical exam, basically means, "you're hired, we just want to check your physical health."

They called this morning and scheduled it! HE GOT THE JOB!!!!!

I'm completely in shock. This will change our lives. Thank you, God!

CONGRATULATIONS CHRISTINA AND BRUCE!

...on the birth of your healthy baby boy!

Welcome to the world, Timothy Aaron K.! You have wonderful, loving, kind-hearted parents who already love the mess out of you - enjoy every second of the unending spoiling you're already experiencing, I'd imagine.

God bless all three of you!!

Explorers

Have you ever had a day where you were just ready to strangle somebody? That was me, yesterday.

Chad and I went out for the day, apartment searching after I got off of work. We drove around Chesapeake looking at some pretty great places, but I started to tire out very quickly. We started out for home, and Chadwick decided to take the long way home, for whatever reason. I began to get irritated with him, but he continued on his merry way, evidently with a purpose in mind.

He turns onto this tiny little side street, and I narrowed my eyes. Where on God's green earth was he taking me? He assures me that he wanted to see something important, and that it wouldn't take long - albeit with this devilish little grin on his handsome face.

After driving about five minutes, he asks, "Ya think we've gone about three miles yet?" I gave him a dirty look and ask him why. "Because, I'm following the signs!"

"To what?"

"You'll see!"

We pull up to this....statue. It's evidently a monument of some sort, and behind it is a small, desolate graveyard. It's the Jackson Greys Confederate Memorial.

Let me just tell you how interested I was.

He jumps out of the car, runs up to the statue, gives a sturdy but comical salute, and runs back to the car.

Missing A Gene

My better half decided last (?) weekend that he was going to be wonderful and go buy me an outfit to wear for our first real "date night" in months. We were planning on having a nice dinner out, probably a filet at Outback, and see a movie afterwards. Pretty sweet and simple setup, right? I thought so.



~~Let me just preface this by saying, that this all happened two days after I was released from the hospital with kidney stones. They don't equate kidney stones with giving birth for nothing. I was miserable. ~~



I woke up that Saturday morning around 5 am with stomach cramps and a general feeling of yuckiness. I went to work at 8 am, suffered through the first three and a half hours, got sick several times, and decided to call it a day. Pretty lovely start to what was supposed to be a great day, I thought. I came home, took a quick hot shower, and promptly fell asleep in bed. IN MY TOWEL, still half-dry. I slept for five hours, wrapped up in two comforters, heat up, with a space heater blowing on me, still freezing. Apparently I had a fever or something.



Chad came home to check on me and I was burning up. I took ibuprofen for beginning body aches and the fever and tried to ride it out.



My darling had gone TO THE MALL and bought me a pair of nice jeans, a grey silk-screened sleeveless top that was just great, and the most fabulous part - a pair of sexy black pointed-toe slingbacks. I was in heaven. Sort of.



I dragged myself out of bed and sucked it up, I had been anticipating this date all week! No way was I going to cancel on him and make us miss out! Never mind the fact that I couldn't keep food down, but whatever, right?



I tossed on the jeans. Can't get them up over what I will fondly call "Mt. Everest". Tried on the top, little snug, but it works and still looks cute.



Now for those fantastic and apparently expensive heels. Checking the tag, checking the tag - 8 1/2? Nooooo! I need a 7 1/2 or an 8 in heels, they have to fit snugly! Slingbacks have to fit snugly, or they fall off and you stumble around, looking like a drunk.


So, I decide to tighten them up - whomever invented adjustable bands on shoes needs to have a statue erected in their honor - and get on with the show.



4 inch heels. Did I mention the four inch heels?







Apparently, there's a gene for walking in heels, and I just don't have it. I look like I'm going to break my ankle at any second, and I can just imagine passersby whispering amongst themselves, "That poor girl. Somebody get her some tennis shoes before she falls and injures herself."



Blegh.



So here it is, two (?) weeks later, and I'm practicing every day in these danged shoes. I bought some new fantastic dark dress jeans this afternoon at work, and these shoes are MADE for them. I have to learn, or Chad's poor little heart will break.



Can you believe I have to practice? I used to be a dancer, for pete's sake! I danced for twelve years! I did ballet! I should be able to do this! It's sickening.

-sigh-

Whoa, I've been MIA for a few days.

What a terrible week this has been.

Here's to hoping the worst of it is over, though it's likely not.

Last Monday, I woke up with a stiff, painful neck. I brushed it off, thought I had slept on it wrong. Tuesday it continues to hurt. But I woke up Wednesday morning in terrible pain, wondering what in the heck I had done to it. It hurt so badly that I called out of work. Chad had to physically help me sit up, turn over, lay down, absolutely anything. It was awful.

Then Thursday rolls around. I woke up at 430 am, again in excruciating pain, worse than the day before. I called out of work again, intending to go to the hospital after Chad's interview at 1 pm. I fell back asleep, after Chad helped me adjust pillows and blankets to support my head, so I wouldn't have to keep moving around and hurting.

I woke up again around 6, 615 am with a backache. Thinking it was just an ache from laying the way I was on my back, I managed to turn myself onto my stomach, biting my lip to keep from crying out and waking Chad. Well, within ten minutes, the pain in my back worsens (it's right about where my right kidney is). I wake Chad, in pain so badly I was on my knees. I start feeling nauseated and end up vomiting several times. He takes me to the station (across the street) and takes me to the ambulance to check my vitals. His friends (fellow paramedics and EMTs) tell him to rush me to the hospital. At this point, we're fearing meningitis.

We don't have to wait long in the ER, thankfully, and the back pain subsides eventually to a dull ache. The first doctor (actually ends up being a physician's assistant) takes my vitals, asks me some good questions.

Warning: May be TMI following. Sorry, boys. :)

He asks if he could get a urine sample. I provide one, and he comes back about fifteen minutes later and tells me there's blood in the sample, and that he's worrying about kidney stones, and that he's ordered me a CAT scan.

Second doctor (actually an M.D.) comes in and says that there's no need to worry about kidney stones (excuse me? Blood in my urine? HELLO?), and gives me a shot each of morphine and Valium. This only makes me sleepy and woozy, doesn't do a thing for the pain. I got a prescription for Vicodin and Flexoril ( a muscle relaxant) and head home. I slept the next four days.

Which brings us to today. Today, my neck doesn't hurt so much, but my muscles and entire body are aching, like I've got the flu. I'm constantly tachycardic (fast heart rate), weak, no energy - which leads Chad to believe I'm dehydrated. It makes sense because I've really only drank when I've had to take pills every few hours. I don't pee much in the past few days, so no kidney stones have announced their presence yet, but that's still a possibility. But now we're really wondering about meningitis. If this all continues to Wednesday, I'm going back to the ER and I guess I'll ask for a spinal tap, as much as I dread and completely fear it. But I have to know what's wrong and what's making me feel so bad.

I'm due in at work tonight at 4 am, so that means I need to go back to sleep. I know this was long, and if you read the whole thing, good for you - you deserve a cookie. :)

Here's hoping for a better week,
Ambs.

time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping, into the future

We've spent the last few days debating, debating, debating over Tennessee. I'm almost tired of having to think up all of the pro's and con's, beside the fact that it's exciting to think of moving.

Isn't that sad? We hate this place so much, that we're willing to throw everything we've worked for here, away. His school, my amazing job, everything. I was named Volunteer Captain of our store this week, and now I'm wanting to walk away from all of that?

Actually, no, I don't. I want to pack up my job and his class with us and move them with us. But as that's not possible, we have to decide what's best for us. This place can't be what's best:

No church.
Very few job opportunities for Chad, even less for anything over 8 bucks an hour.
No housing, that we can afford anyway.
No opportunities for roommates that we can find, much less trust.
His family's leaving as soon as their house sells.

Wouldn't you say, just those things alone are enough reasons to leave?

We were talking to Bobby, one of our housemates, last night. I'm starting to feel a little less uneasy about Chad giving up his medic class, mostly because of the fact that Chad can likely find another community college in the area in TN that offer the same class. It's more common than I thought. I need to do research on this first.

My job isn't a concern, I can easily get transferred as much as I don't want to. Target is good that way.

go inside, i'm coming through to our world that you surround

Remember back when I talked about Chad's parents selling their house, moving to WV, and my utter despondence over it? (As well as my hubby's and my mutual decision that WV sucks and we won't leave to go there with them....hopefully) Well, they called tonight and asked us what we'd think about moving with them to TENNE-FREAKING-SEE.

Let's recap - I'm from Indiana. I now live in North Carolina. I'm highly attached to his family.

COUNT ME IN!

Problem is, still, Chad's schoolin' it til December. -frustrated scream- I really, really, would move with them to TN, and so would Chad, if it wasn't for his school. The housemates aren't moving into a new place with us, we still can't afford to live here (like that's ever going to change), and I'm so frustrated I could tear my hair out.

Oh, and Chad's still not working, and his reciprocity papers still aren't in. I could seriously have a freaking stroke any day.

In other news, the FOR SALE sign in our front yard still doesn't say "Under Contract" or "For Sale" and it's been two weeks since the landlord told us the house had sold. We're starting to wonder if the buyer's deal fell through or something. I'm hoping, hoping, hoping so that buys us a little more time to get Chad into a steady job and money set back for security deposits and first month's rent and such.

I'm supposed to be up at 3 am (five hours away) and I can't sleep. Tomorrow's my first day in my new position. This is problematic.

ARRRGH!

you make me feeeeel, so brand neeeeeeew

Since Chad has recently decided that he is anti-everything "married", as I am his wife, I must concede - albeit somewhat grudgingly. Thus, the new blog!

Want an explanation? Here's an example. We were watching "What's My House Worth?" on HGTV a little bit ago, and I was drawn to the cute, picturesque 'family oriented" little bungalow with wood floors, white trim, absolutely beautiful. What was he drawn to, you may ask? The hip, open-floorplan SoHo loft apartment, with black and white modern everything. There weren't even any doors on the bathrooms!

He's reverting quickly to the desire to be a bachelor, and try as I might to remind him that he's now a "happily" married man, he's not budging much.

But, as the title of this new blog suggests, I haven't exactly always been "family-oriented" myself - I'm a terrible wife sometimes. Thus begins our journey down an uncertain, but hopefully not too bumpy, road.